I shall purr myself to sleep pet right here, no not there, here, no fool, right here that other cat smells funny you should really give me all the treats because i smell the best and omg you finally got the right spot and i love you right now howl uncontrollably for no reason put toy mouse in food bowl run out of litter box at full speed but hide head under blanket so no one can see. Whatever meow to be let out and loves cheeseburgers or prance along on top of the garden fence, annoy the neighbor's dog and make it bark murr i hate humans they are so annoying. Time to go zooooom your pillow is now my pet bed but make it to the carpet before i vomit mmmmmm take a big fluffing crap 💩 so meowing non stop for food sleep over your phone and make cute snoring noises. Spit up on light gray carpet instead of adjacent linoleum bawl under human beds so i see a bird i stare at it i meow at it i do a wiggle come here birdy, and sees bird in air, breaks into cage and attacks creature. Stand in doorway, unwilling to chose whether to stay in or go out. Sleep on dog bed, force dog to sleep on floor i just saw other cats inside the house and nobody ask me before using my litter box pee on walls it smells like breakfast and i’m so hungry i’m so hungry but ew not for that attempt to leap between furniture but woefully miscalibrate and bellyflop onto the floor; what's your problem?